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Defense Attorney: Why not?Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!Defense Attorney: What happened next?Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”Defense Attorney: Did he take you?Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.Short on compliments of joevsr‎2 men in a bar.1st man, turning to his buddy, “How can I start to grow hair on my bald head?”2nd man, “I have found that if you stick your head between a woman’s legs, It will help” Saying this as he stroked his full beard.The following are compliments of squaddie117‎Young Jewish couple are having their first baby, after the birth the Doctor comes to them and says, “you have a healthy baby boy, but I’m afraid he’s been born without eyelids.”“What can we do,” moaned the father, “He can’t go through life like that?”“Don’t worry,” said the. Why is he texting you… and why did he put 'Love' at the end of it?" Are you k*dding?!" Tori asked, wide eyed. "Doesn't he know that you're a little tied up at the moment, what with getting married?" Calm down…" Jade said, trying not to lose her temper in this nice dress. "He's just trying to make up for being a shitty boyfriend. I will handle it." The way you 'handled it' with him before graduation?" Tori shot back."One, you're being a cunt, Vega. But two, it will be nothing like our senior year at UCLA… that was a mistake and I'm not looking back." Jade tried to hide her fear, but she was starting to really wonder about Beck at this point."I guess I'm missing something…" Carly interjected. "Did something happen with Beck?" Jade had sex with him," Cat quickly informed, earning glares from all the girls in the room. "It was over a year ago and Jade says they were on a break." It was a mistake… and I know we aren't exactly best friends, Carly, but I know how much Freddie means to you….
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